This is my reality. I am a MESS! I know loneliness and loss. During the most difficult times of our life, I felt abandoned. The pressure was like being under water fighting to break the surface but just sinking deeper. I could see everyone on shore carrying on with their lives but I could never get there. The stress, pressure, expectations, disappointment, and exhaustion were like battling rip currents, pulling me further away from life.
I have slowly started to take small steps to retrieve my life. The most important lesson is that even when I felt abandoned in this world, it wasn't my strength that kept our family solid, it was God's strength. We could have easily spiraled completely out of control but that wasn't his will. I may not have been his greatest tool at that time but he hadn't given up on me!
Psalm 116: 1-2 "I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live."
Psalm 116: 5-6 "The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion... when I was brought low, he saved me."
I am working towards my own goal -- Redeemed Brokeness!
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