Thursday, April 25, 2013

Living Torn

The more trips I make to Guatemala, the more frequently I want to return.  After my first trip I told my husband that I would be very disappointed if I couldn't return the next year.  Just two months after the second trip we planned a return trip with our whole family.  Now we are planning several business projects around one sacred week in September when we can return on a fourth trip.  If money, time, and home responsibilities were no issue, I think I would be there several times, maybe months, a year.  But that is where reality hits.  We have a budget, jobs, and a family.  We can't take the girls from school on a whim and I can't abscond my responsibilities as a wife, mother, or business owner.

It's like living a double life.  There is the American Kelly who spends her time taking care of her family and working.  Then there's the Guatemalan Kelly who spends her time taking care of her family and working...  Yes I do see what I just wrote!  I just realized that I am doing the same core jobs both places but in different ways.  I never thought of it like that!

At home, I support my husband and children.  You know, the typical American wife and mother--cook, clean, homework...  I go to work most days (unless I have completely revolted and I stay in my pajamas all day and work from home, that's the benefit of being the boss' wife) to help provide the means to support our family and to support the projects that are so dear to us. 

In Guatemala, it's like the pressure releases.  We work while we're there but the layers of deadlines disappear.  We are there to help people and the goal is to do as much as we can as God provides.  Just like our latest trip, we didn't get everything done that we wanted while there but instead we met a family that we all love dearly.  Our second chicken coop was built and delivered after we left but that wasn't what we were supposed to do.  My family in Guatemala may not be biological but they are just as important to me.

The key is the balance between a content life in America and making a difference in Guatemala.  I can't abandon where God has placed me (in America) for Guatemala because I might just be missing out on a mission right where I am. 

I need to be in both places to complete my mission!  (Even if it seems less stressful in Guatemala)

No comments:

Post a Comment