This past week has felt like an avalanche of boulders had fallen directly on top of me. By Wednesday I was crushed. I felt anxious, blindsided, bashed, and then betrayed by various situations. Plus I had to get a root canal. I just didn't know where to turn or what to do because it was all so overwhelming and the week was only half way through. I felt the strange urge to fast.
I must admit that several years ago when a friend mentioned fasting, I thought she was crazy--as in over the top strange. Why would anyone choose not to eat? As I do when I have questions, I googled "fasting" and found useful Information from a reputable resource. Not eating wasn't that hard (minus when I mindlessly picked up that popcorn-Alicia). I purposely tried to be more aware of praying. I was finally honest about how I was feeling. "Why is it all so hard?" I just want everything to be stable for a little while.
Being more aware of my need to focus on prayer gave me peace with the possible outcomes. I could honestly say that even if what I thought was a poor decision couldn't change, I was at peace with the situation.
I don't know if I would call it failure but by mid afternoon today I had to stop fasting to eat. My headache was rapidly progressing into a migraine and I knew I couldn't take medicine without food. I actually felt guilty and almost turned around instead of getting food. My guilt is starting to leave--I had a chocolate chip cookie tonight also.
Here's my thought for tonight.
Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you or forsake you."
Moses told this to the people as they were preparing to cross the Jordan into the Promised Land with Joshua. Like my life, their's needed to be a journey walking by faith. Sometimes rocky, winding, and even confusing--but allowing God to lead.