While reading a blog this afternoon, I was intrigued by the author's truthfulness about how she had let her life take over and had lost the time for hobbies. As she described her life and circumstances, it was as though she had been spying on me.
The ambitious, responsible, serious adult has completely devoured the fun Kelly. Not that I was the over the top, life of the party in an earlier life, but I faintly remember that we used to have fun. There was a time when we were able to spend time doing activities that didn't involve working and not feel guilty about the amount of productive time lost.
When I try to remember what we did to have fun, it is becoming more difficult to remember how to enjoy life. It's like going over the cliff with no way back. If you do something for so long, it becomes you. We have spent so many years focusing on work that we have forgotten how to be carefree and relax.
If I want to enjoy free time again, I need to deliberately take time to do activities that aren't work-related. That sounds like an easy task but it will be extremely hard for me. I will need to find a way to address my guilt for taking time away from my responsibilities. I will need to allow myself to do something I enjoy. I will need to accept that everything might not get done. Maybe most difficult, I will need to find a way to lower my guard.
So, if I had a hobby, I'm not sure what it would be. Maybe I'll try to start running again. I would like to find more time to write. Maybe I'll just try to do more fun activities with the kids.
We'll just have to see what happens...